The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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