I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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