Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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