pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
