Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
