love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
