My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
