i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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