I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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