ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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