I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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