Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
