Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
