apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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