And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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