my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
