This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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