I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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