ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
