I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
