Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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