I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
