I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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