We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
