Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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