I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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