So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
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