um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
