In the future we'll all be gay
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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