For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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