why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
