We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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