bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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