I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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