i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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