we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
