When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize