Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
