Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
