He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
