On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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