So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
