jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
