I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
