hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
