you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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