we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
