Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
