I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
