Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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