Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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