I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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