he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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