We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
