Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
