if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
