How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
