So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
