Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
