I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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