Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
