i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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